Realization

My last post was right after I found out that my "perfect" plan was not going to become reality.

For the past ten years I have dreamt about going to dental school at UMKC. In high school I hadn't even looked at other colleges because I wanted to be in their six year dental program, but my Junior year of high school they got rid of the program. So, when I found out that I wasn't accepted I was devastated. I had been told time and time again that I was a shoe-in and didn't need to worry at all about getting in and that I had a great application. When I didn't get a call I was mostly confused. I thought what on earth could I have done to screw this up?

I went to UMKC to talk to the admissions director to talk about why I didn't get accepted. I was expecting him to tell me a short list of things. Possibly, your science GPA could be higher, you didn't have a job in a dental office, or you are too young because you are graduating in three years. But to my surprise, none of these were the problem. Actually he told me that there wasn't anything that was really "wrong". He said that "the committees 'concern' if you could even call it that is that you said the most stressful time in your life was when you had to take organic I and cell biology together." When he said this I automatically got mad. I was thinking, I am a student, what do you want my most stressful time to be? I have taken two science classes together almost every semester, but these classes were just particularly difficult. So he said the concern with this is that if I couldn't handle two science classes together then how could I handle five in dental school. Sitting there I was so mad. I thought what a stupid reason. Seriously, you couldn't find anything else that was wrong? Obviously I have proven that I can handle it if I have gotten this far in three years, being just as competitive as students who took the full four years. I left in angry tears.

At first I was so mad. I mean what the heck? Then as the day went on I came to realization that this is God's plan. Let me explain

1. I have been praying since JUNE that God's will is fulfilled
2. I have prayed since June that I will get into the one school God wants me to go to so I don't have to pick and make the wrong decision
3. Only 45 people got accepted here and 100 got accepted to UMKC
4. I got a "stupid" reason for not being accepted, but God had to do something to keep me out.
5. This school is almost the exact same school as AT Still in Arizona (the school absolutely loved)
6. I already have a great group of friends here and am making an impact on my small group girls at K-Life
7. I am already familiar with the area, I could easily find a roommate.
8. It is only 3 hours away from home and Luke (much better than 17 hours to Arizona)
9. My younger brother will be here and we are really close.

I have been so blinded by the fact that my "dreams" have been flushed down the toilet. Seriously, what a blessing to be given. I will be one of the first students to graduate from this new school. It is completely set up based on ASDOH, which means it is everything I loved about ASDOH, but closer. At first I was really bummed by the news I received, but now as I have had time to think about the situation, I am actually excited to stay here for another two years. My biggest worry now is what the future of my relationship with my boyfriend will look like, but we have made it 5 years and 3 years of that has been long-distance. If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything. Our plans may change, but obviously our plans don't really compare to the greatness God has planned.